Empowerment Stories
After 8 years of being single. I met a man online. We lived 150’miles apart. We chatted and video called every day for a few weeks. He asked me to be his girlfriend after the second meeting. He love bombed me. I can see that now. Then I thought he had genuine feelings for me. I was in debt and no close family near me. He asked me to move in with him. After some ‘soul searching’ I decided to bite the bullet and move the 150 miles to be with him. The first few weeks were ‘magical’ then the cracks appeared. He would make comments about my family, hated me talking to other men given that he wanted me ‘behind the bar’ at the club he managed. The last month I was there it was hell. I was walking on eggshells and actually felt more alone than I ever have in my entire life. I left him as my son could see I was a shell of my former self.
I've never been in that situation before and if I’m honest I won’t ever put myself in that situation ever again. He broke me. He broke my heart and He broke my spirit.
- Annonymous
"I was 16 when I got into my first relationship with my now ex girlfriend. Until you are out of these situations, you don't realise how much damage and hurt they have caused you. The first 3-4 months of the relationship were like any relationship, awkward at first but soon we got used to it and began to relax and fall in love. I fell hard and quickly. She didn't like my friends and started making up things about them to make me fall out with them. I stopped talking to my friends and detached myself from family. I'd get home from school and go straight to my room so I could text her. We both struggled with mental health but she would use her's against me. She would ignore me for days and then respond out of nowhere, like nothing had happened. She would tell me "goodbye" and ignore me for hours and then when I messaged her mum, she was fine. She would constantly tell me that I didn't love her and that I did nothing for her. She mentally and emotionally tortured me for months. She would break up with me and tell me she didn't love me anymore and then within an hour tell me she didn't know what she was talking about and wanted me back. I'd go back because I loved her. During my exams, I was coming in tearful everyday and staff got involved. It ended there. Even after we split, we stayed friends but the contact gradually became less and less. I had a friend who had been a huge support for me and that same friend is now my fiance. We've been together 5 years now. That relationship affected me more than I've told anyone. I was young and I didn't deserve to go through that. I'm sharing my story to let others know there is life after abuse, no matter what kind it was."
- Annonymous
"I met my first abuser when I was at college, through a friend. He was sweet and looked after me, even sitting with me on smoke breaks so I wasn't lonely. We got together and things were good until he became argumentative. He'd say things to his friends about me but then we'd make up. He started wanting sex all the time and it was clear that was all he wanted. I tried to break things off with me but he didn't let me and got nasty. One day, during a heatwave, I wore a dress to college and he screamed at me in front of our friends. One of the guys had to lend me his hoody to wear, because my bf was calling me a whore for "showing myself off" when I was "his". I got really depressed and stopped going to college and tried to avoid him completely. He apologised for his behaviour and I fell for it. But things were just the same as before and even my friends could see that I wasn't doing well. He called me a slag to the whole college and, feeling overwhelmed, I left and went to the train tracks. Thankfully someone found me, calmed me down and took me home so my life was spared. After that we broke up and went our separate ways. My second abuser was a close friend who quickly turned into something more. I'd met him through the previous boyfriend and stayed friends with him, even after the break up. I thought I could trust him as we'd been friends before but I was wrong. He became abusive and blamed me for things that weren't my fault as well as stealing from me and taking my money for gambling. He told me he'd got help and I believed him and I agreed to go and spend the night at his. I had a bad panic attack and was very ill and he tried to take advantage. He walked in the room naked and tried to touch me but I told him I was going home as I wasn't feeling well. He trapped me in the kitchen and refused to let me leave, even when a friend came to try and help me. This traumatised me so much I attempted to take my own life 2 years ago. I believed it was my fault somehow and he would continue to stalk me and message me, threatening messages until I went to the police and begged for their help. I'm still scared to go out in certain places but I'm doing a lot better than I was. I've chosen to be the bigger person and learn when to say no."
- Lex
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